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Our Cost of Saying “Yes” to God (Part 3)

Dec10

This blog may be the hardest one to write in this blog series. This is where I talk about how saying “yes” to God has cost us close relationships with people, some of whom are family members.

If you stop and think about it for a moment, if a person is saying yes to God, then in order for that person to be faithful to God, that person will then have to tell at least some people “no”. Quite simply because what are the odds that every person you know is hearing from God for your life and that all are hearing the exact same thing? It has been my life experience that most people – no matter how much they may love you or have the best intentions for you – most people are not praying that God’s will be done in your life. Is this not how the Lord Jesus told us to pray? In the book of Matthew in the Bible, at chapter 6, starting at verse 9, Jesus says, “Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” (NASB Italics are mine for emphasis.) Notice that Jesus didn’t pray to the Father, “May Peter’s will be done, or wait, better yet, may John’s will be done”. No! He may love them, he may cherish them and is willing to die for them, but Jesus Christ wants the will of the Father to be done, not man’s will.

After the Last Supper, Jesus – knowing what He was about to go through – went to the Garden of Gethsemane and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.” (Matthew 26:39b NASB Italics are mine for emphasis. Also found at Luke 22:42) If Jesus Christ being perfect, being the Son of God was asking for God’s will not his own personal will to be done, then why aren’t we?

Eric and I have discovered over the past 14 years that the more we have done the will of the Father, the more we seemed to upset people, or ruffle feathers. It was not our plan to have people upset with us and we certainly were not trying to ruffle anyone’s feathers; we just wanted to follow the example of Jesus Christ. We, as imperfect humans, can have an expectation that we put upon other people, and I do not think we realize how conditional our professed love for others is when those we say we love step outside of what we think they should do in their own life.

When I sign copies of Love Waits, I sign my name and 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Why? It is called “the love chapter”, but this is love according to the word of God. “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (NASB)

In this passage it does not say that love is doing what I say to do. Nor is it saying that love means you should be living as I think you should, nor does it say that love means you should be making the choices that I deem are righteous. No, it does not say that at all. Too often though, we put our will, way, or thoughts on someone else, instead of simply praying for the Father’s will in their life.

Here is an example from our lives. In 2012, we attended a church that we were quite active in. This is after we said yes to God (blogs Our Cost of Saying “Yes” to God Part 1 and 2) and we were preparing for the move to Michigan. We stopped at the church one afternoon while running errands. While we were at the church, a friend of ours was there. We were chatting for a moment when she, in a matter-of-fact manner, mentioned that there were a group of people in church praying against us moving to Michigan because they didn’t want us to leave. I just stood there, shocked. Eric and I had been through a roller coaster ride of getting ready for the property to sell, so we could move as God was directing us. I could not believe what she had just admitted to us. Did she and the others not realize that they were praying against God’s will in our lives? Did they not realize that what we bind on earth is then bound in heaven? (Matt. 16:19, Matt. 18:18)

Eric and I said our goodbyes to her and went on with our next errand. I remember this quite clearly because I think this was my first bold prayer to God. It was early November of 2012, on a Friday afternoon, in the parking lot of Albertson’s in Williston, ND, I prayed aloud with Eric like I never prayed before. I truly believe it was Holy Spirit taking over. I did not condemn nor curse anyone for praying against God’s will, but I did repent of this sin, I did apologize for it, and I prayed for the will of the Father to override man’s will in our lives. The next morning (Saturday), we got a phone call; by noon, our property was sold with all the paperwork getting done on Monday. By Thursday, we were heading out with the kids and a cargo trailer of our belongings to Michigan.

When any of us puts our wants, desires, or even our will on other people’s lives, if we are professing to be a child of God’s, then we are in disobedience to the Father.

Here are some poignant passages in Scripture to read what God’s word says about this:

Matthew 12:46-50, “While He was still speaking to the crowds, behold, His mother and brothers were standing outside, seeking to speak to Him. Someone said to Him, ‘Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You.’ But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, ‘Who is My mother and who are My brothers?’ And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, ‘Behold My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother,’” (NASB Italics are mine for emphasis. Also found at Luke 8:19-21)

Matt. 7:21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord’, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.” (NASB Italics are mine for emphasis)

Matt. 10:34-37 “Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.” (NASB Also found at Luke 12:51-53)

Saying yes to God does have a cost and even if you say yes, I expect that many times over the years to come you will be prompted by God to answer if you still say yes or not. I know that we have had to answer that; but, for us, there is no other choice. God is the most important One to us, there is no plan B.

Love and prayers, Sharon

Disappointed in God?

Dec2

(Note: I will continue my current blog series “Our Cost of Saying “Yes” to God”, but today God put this blog on my heart.)

Can a Bible believing Christian, a son or daughter of the most-high God, be disappointed in God? Yes, I believe that can happen. As a matter of fact, I have gone through that myself. Sadly, I have also witnessed people close to me walk away from God because of the huge disappointment they have felt in Him. Even more sad than that, some of them do not even realize that they have walked away from God, they just kind of keep going through the motions of “being a Christian” but are no longer saved. Jesus is no longer in them; Holy Spirit is no longer working in them. They honestly do not even realize it. It is extremely heart breaking to me, especially since I had a front row seat to witness this. How should a Bible believing son or daughter of God respond when they do feel disappointed in God? Great question, right? I will try to answer from what I have learned as I ‘ve gone through feeling disappointed by God.

Firstly, God – Jehovah, Yahweh, the Ancient of Days, the Eternal One, El Shaddai, the Creator of all humans and the universe – God is perfect. (Psalms 18:30, Deuteronomy 32:4, 2 Samuel 22:31, Matthew 5:48) His ways are perfect. His will is perfect. His timing is perfect. So, why do we get disappointed in/with God? My nutshell answer: Our expectation in Him with His will, His ways, and His timing are not fulfilled how we think it should be. Smaller nutshell – God does not do what we want, when we want. (Isaiah 55:8) I will be honest with you, that was an extremely hard pill for me to swallow. That it was not God who had been disappointing, but it was my expectation of how He was going to work, when He was going to work, and what His will would be that led to the disappointment I was feeling. This was a huge, humbling, “ouch” moment for me. I would love to say that the very moment I realized that, that I immediately fell upon my face and repented and the glory of the Lord filled the room and – voila! – I was instantaneously, miraculously healed and NEVER felt disappointment again – EVER! However, that would be a lie. Like I said, this was a HUGE pill for me. So, why couldn’t I immediately be humbled and move on from this lesson? One word – pride. (Proverbs 16:18) I had pride that I was justified in feeling disappointed in God, with how He was working, or how He wasn’t working. Or with the timeframe of when things were happening or weren’t happening and I had other people who agreed with me. But, if I claim to be saved by and through the blood of Jesus Christ, if I claim to believe the Holy Scriptures, if I believe in Yahweh as the Creator, then why am I so easily swayed by having other people validate my disappointment with the One who is perfect? Pride.

I am going to give an example from my own life of how pride got a hold of me, and I was totally caught unaware. Probably close to 20 years ago, a sister of mine told me that she noticed that I had a lot of pride. My initial reaction? I thought to myself, “Pfff, she does not know what she’s talking about! I am not prideful. I just happen to be right most of the time.” NOT my best thinking, huh? Yep, I was full of pride and so prideful that even when it was called out to me, I did not believe it, I was offended, and I tried to shake it off. (By the way, if someone has called you out for being prideful and you are immediately offended, guess what? You have a pride issue.) While I did not like what my sister said at all, it kept bothering me that she had said that to me. So, I prayed on it. Of course, I completely expected the Lord to confirm my thoughts and to correct my sister…yea, that’s not what happened though. God started showing me where my speech was prideful. He showed me where my actions were being done from a place of pride. He showed me that my thinking was prideful. I was humbled and I repented. I had to work very hard to not give into the stronghold of pride. Sure, I slipped up every so often, but I kept repenting and working on not being prideful.

As I mentioned, offense is a sure sign that you are having a pride issue. Being disappointed in God can lead us to being offended by Him. I know that there are people who have been through unspeakable evil in their lives. People who have major trust issues with God. People who may think, “If God is so loving, so gracious, so perfect, then why did He allow _____ to happen to me? Where was He? Why didn’t He stop it and protect me?” All are valid questions. I, myself, have had these questions, too. I cannot really answer those questions, but whatever a person has been through, they are not alone, unfortunately others have been through extremely similar things – or even worse.

Many years ago, I read a book by R.T. Kendall entitled “Totally Forgiving God: When It Seems He Has Betrayed You”. This book is not implying that God did wrong and needs your forgiveness as one would forgive another person. God has no sin; He does no wrong. (Psalms 5:4) Another person is imperfect, they make mistakes, their actions or words are not always good or righteous. Yet, the sentiment is still the same, choosing to forgive, whether the person (or God) asks for it or not, whether the person (or God) acknowledges any wrongdoing or not. Forgiveness is a choice, just like holding a grudge is a choice, being offended is a choice, bitterness is a choice, pride is a choice, and UN-forgiveness is a choice.

Forgiving God and repenting for your expectations that you put upon Him is the first step in breaking this stronghold of disappointment in God that you have.

Having gone through all of this myself, does not mean that I have never felt disappointment in God again. But I have been able to learn and continue to grow in God, even when my expectations have not been met. Where I am in my walk with God is not where I was those almost 20 years ago when I was called out for being prideful. Where I am today is not where I was even last week! Oh sure, I have my moments, I am an imperfect person after all, but I truly want to do the will of the Father and continue to learn and grow in Him.

Life can be great and wonderful, but it can also be disappointing and not what we hoped it would be – both can be true. The real test comes when things do not go as you had planned, or things did not happen in the timeframe that you wanted, are you going to be disappointed? And, if you are disappointed (which, hey, it happens), how are you going to handle that disappointment – whether it is disappointment in another person or God?

Some words from the Bible to leave you with today. Love and prayers, Sharon

Psalms 34:15-19 “The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and His ears are open to their cry. The face of the Lord is against evildoers, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. The righteous cry, and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.” (NASB)

Isaiah 41:10 “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (NASB)

Psalms 42:11 “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.” (NASB)

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (NASB)

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans that I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” (NASB)

Our Cost of Saying “Yes” To God (Part 2)

Nov28

Tomorrow evening it will be 14 years exactly since Eric, my husband, and I said “Yes” to God. Saying yes to His will, His way, His timing in our lives – in ALL areas of our lives. I do believe that we were saved before we said yes, but I think God was calling us into a deeper understanding and deeper relationship with Him. It can only be God’s timing that this blog series is coming out now. I can’t say that I was planning on writing about this, but God had a different plan.

Not long after we said yes to God, our friends – the ones who had spent Thanksgiving weekend with us 14 years ago (see blog post Our Cost of Saying “Yes” To God) – had been renting a place that their landlady sold and they had to move. After Eric and I prayed much about this, we felt we were to invite them to stay with us until they could find a place to live. They agreed, moved in, and that was the beginning of the end of our friendship. As I look back now, I would describe them as “Sunday morning Christians”. They went to church on Sundays and spoke great “Christianese” (Christian lingo to fake it), but unfortunately God wasn’t that real to them. Our eyes had been opened, and we couldn’t close them – no matter how much I had wanted to. They moved out of our house 6 weeks later, and our friendship ended. We just weren’t on the same path. (2 Cor. 6:14, 17) They did not see a need to change, which was fine, that was their choice. However, we also had a choice and there were certain things that Eric and I would not tolerate in our home. (Psalm 101:7)

In autumn of 2012, we felt God calling us to move to Battle Creek, Michigan. My husband is a very gifted contractor. Seriously, I’m not just being biased, he once had a building inspector tell him that the deck he built was “exquisite”. Eric had a thriving business in Fairview, Montana, when we moved in November of 2012. He closed the business to answer God’s call. (Philippians 3:7) We bought a HUGE fixer upper in Battle Creek. We thought the plan would be for Eric to fix it up and we would be there at least the next 20 years or until Jesus came back – which ever happened first. (We were wrong, but there may be more on that in future blogs.)

Battle Creek proved to be a wilderness experience for us. (Note: Battle Creek, Michigan is a wonderful place, with wonderful people, however, it was a very hard time for us there. We have nothing against Battle Creek or the people, in fact, we do still have loved ones there.) It was hard for Eric to find work, no matter how much promotion, networking, marketing, or advertising we did. He was out of work more often than having work. This wilderness experience took us through some hard valleys. Without realizing it, Eric had come to think of his identity – or at least parts of his identity – as being a contractor, having a thriving business, having customers backed up for months who gladly waited for him to be available to do their work, having our bills always paid on time and in full, having money in the bank, and having an awesome credit score. I believe that many professing Christians would say that Eric was blessed and successful. I think it can be easy to get comfortable with these types of “blessings”, perhaps even rely on these “blessings” as identity markers and I believe that is what happened to Eric over time. (I wrote about some of my personal experience of going through the wilderness in Battle Creek in my blog Let Your Light Shine.)

Eric went through a very hard valley in Battle Creek. God started stripping away little by little everything that Eric had built up to be his identity. So, when everything that Eric built up about himself was gone, you know what Eric was? He was simply God’s son. (John 1:12) His business/vocation, bank accounts, schedule, and credit score had absolutely nothing to do with his identity in God. (Philippians 3:7-10) He was God’s son – period. And that was enough. Eric’s hard valley was equally hard on our marriage and our family. We were both active in the church that we were members of, yet we didn’t find much solace there (mostly from leadership) for everything that we were going through. We were accused of having hidden sin in our lives and that was the reason God wasn’t blessing us. We were encouraged to volunteer at church and ministries and to continue to pay tithing. We were told to take ANY job we could get, no matter what the pay, because God would provide. Some of the people in our “church family” would hire Eric but barely pay him above minimum wage for the work he did. (Note: There were a few others in our church family who were more generous with Eric’s pay and craftsmanship.) It was a long, hard valley and a lot of people (like some in our church family or our extended family) didn’t seem to understand what we were going through, yet many had one answer or another as to why we were in this situation. It wasn’t until the autumn of 2016 when Eric went to seminary and was assigned a book to read that helped him to understand what we were going through. It’s called “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” by Peter Scazzero. In the book Eric learned about “the Wall – Stages of Faith” and a work of St. John of the Cross entitled “Dark Night of the Soul”. I’m going to give an incredibly small nutshell of “the Wall”, but I would encourage you to read the book for yourselves. The Wall is where many Christians stop in their walk with God. Things get too hard, God seems silent, seemingly nobody understands what’s going on with them – pretty much everything we went through in our wilderness experience. Once Eric read this book and shared it with me, we realized, “Yes, this is what we’re going through!”. It was nice to at least know what was going on, but that information didn’t change our circumstances – at least not in the physical and not right away. We grew in that moment and in those moments to come spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. (Colossians 2:6-7) We weren’t going crazy, we weren’t hiding sin in our lives, we weren’t lazy, or too proud to work for peanuts – no, we were in a wilderness, a valley with God. However, we weren’t alone, God was with us! In the wilderness there were many times that it seemed like God was silent, but He was still there. (Psalm 23:4) Through this experience we learned more about the depths of God’s character than we had previously known. He became real to us in ways that we wouldn’t have known, had we not gone through the wilderness. (James 1:2-4, 12) We grew closer to God and have continued to do so, but the trials haven’t ended in our lives. God is still refining us; He cares very much about our character development. A good parent cares about the character of their child, right? So, wouldn’t the perfect Parent – God – care even more about the character development of His children? Of course He does! (Romans 5:3-5)

This is one area of our lives that was dramatically changed because of saying “Yes” to God. It doesn’t mean He will necessarily work this way in everyone, but this is our story, our testimony. I want to end with a passage of Scripture that I referenced in this blog.

Philippians 3:7-11 “But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.”

Our Cost of Saying “Yes” To God (Part 1)

Nov21

Note: As I sat down to write this blog earlier this week, I had many thoughts come to me about what our lives (mine and my husband Eric’s) have been like since we said “Yes” to God in all areas of our lives. We have lost family, friends, and income over the years. However, we have also gained much. We have grown in our marriage with God and in our own personal walks with God. Today, it occurred to me as I was writing this, that this will not be “A” blog, but a blog series. I have no idea how many blogs will be in the series, but let’s begin.

In November of 2011, Thanksgiving weekend, one night seemingly out of nowhere God said to me, “I want to take you higher. Are you willing to go?” When God asks a question, there’s weight to it. To be honest, I wasn’t sure exactly what He meant by “higher”, but after a moment of contemplation, I said, “Yes.” This happened in the evening one night, I believe it was Saturday, I was standing outside on our small porch in Fairview, Montana, while I was waving goodbye to friends who had spent Thanksgiving weekend with us. After the lights of their car faded from sight, I stayed outside in the cool weather wondering what God had meant and wondering why He even asked me. Did the Creator of the universe really need my permission before He wanted to do something in my life? I have no answer for this. After awhile, I went back inside and told my husband Eric what had just happened. When he heard, he too said “Yes” to God. NOTHING has been the same in our lives since then.

This is one of those moments where we are counseled in Scripture to count the cost of following Jesus. Did we count the cost? Honestly, I don’t think we did. Eric and I have often talked about what God asked us back in November of 2011, and we’ve challenged ourselves with the question, “If we knew that all of this would happen, would we still have said ‘Yes’ to God?” Our answer is typically something like, “I don’t know, I hope so, but I just don’t know.” There is a cost to saying “yes” to God.

By us putting God first (not ourselves, or each other; not our children; not parents, or any other human) we shortly realized that we were swimming against the mainstream Christianity that we had once been a part of. That was not our intention, as a matter of fact, I doubt either one of us even thought that that was what we were doing. We were focused on God and His calling, trying to be obedient to Him in all things. We didn’t mean to ruffle anyone’s feathers, or be offensive to anyone, or “unchristian” as some people have accused us of. We were simply trying to do the will of the Father as Jesus said to. (Matthew 7:21 and 12:50) Shouldn’t those who were coming against us – the ones who professed to be Christians – have been the ones who accepted us, stood by us, and encouraged us? Like the church of Acts in the Bible, “They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved.” (Acts 2:42-47 NASB)

Why was it so hard for people that we knew to accept that we were going to pray about a matter and then do as we felt led by God’s Spirit? Isn’t that what we are supposed to do if we are God’s people? Eric and I didn’t want to rely on human logic, or what our “feelings” were in a situation, or what we thought was right. We wanted to do His will, period.

This is when we started to realize that if we did something that was not in line with people’s perception of what was “right”, if their expectation of us was not met, then we were called “unchristian” or “unloving”; we were in error. We have even been accused that we “don’t serve the same God” as them. On that one, I may have to agree, though there would have been a time when I would have thought that we served the same God – Yahweh.

Over the coming weeks I will dive into more of what our life, our testimony has been even since that “meeting” with God in 2011. This is what saying “Yes” to God looked like for us.

The Seven Churches In Revelation (Part 5)

Nov2

By Eric Sponheim

SARDIS

Rev 3:1-6

“To the angel of the church in Sardis write:  He who has the seven Sprits of God and the seven stars says this:  I know your deeds, that you have a name that you are alive, but you are dead.  Wake up, and strengthen the things that remain, which are about to die; for I have not found your deeds completed in the sight of My God.  So remember what you have received and heard; and keep it, and repent.  Therefore if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come to you.  But you have a few people in Sardis who have not soiled their garments; and they will walk with Me in white, for they are worthy.  He who overcomes will thus be clothed in white garments; and I will not erase his name from the book of life, and I will confess his name before My Father and before His angels.  He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

The church in Sardis was living by the Spirit.  They were seeking to live out the teachings of Jesus and Paul.  They were making a difference in their city, and people noticed.  How they lived their lives and interacted with each other attracted people to them.  But along the line they became prideful of how they were living out the gospel; they had “arrived.”  This pride led to apathy in their relationships with God.  They continued to do what they had been doing, which was a lot of good things, but their relationship with God wasn’t there anymore.  They were resting on their laurels of the past.  They were just a shell of who they were.

From the outward appearance they still had it going on, they were still doing church; but most of them had no relationship with God.  Their activities were just spiritually empty exercises, done in their own strength and ability.  All they were really doing was just keeping up appearances.

What makes a church “alive”?  We usually associate a church “being alive” with a great worship experience, great outreach programs, or a place where people are excited to be a part of.  (These are just a few examples.)  But the reality is we can get this type of experience of “being alive” in the world too. For example, going to a concert can be like a great worship experience; there are a number of secular organizations reaching out in their communities to help people; thousands of people get excited to go to a sporting event.   Any church can act as if it is alive.

So, what makes a church “alive”?  If something is alive, it is growing.  There is life flowing through it.  For a church it needs to be connected to its life source, Jesus.  It needs to be growing in its relationship with God.  It is becoming more and more holy, obedient, and surrendered to the will of God.  It is setting aside its own ambitions and desire to look good in favor of doing what God wants it to do, even if it isn’t flashy, trendy, or an attention getter.  It is becoming more dependent on God and less dependent on its own abilities.

Anything that is alive can begin to die if it is cut off from its life source, separated from its roots.  When we get apathetic in our relationship with God, we begin to die spiritually.  We start to be disconnected from God because we no longer spend time being connected with Him.  The longer we remain apathetic, the more severed from the root we become.  If we are not careful we could become completely cut off from God. 

We need to overcome the apathy that comes from thinking we have “arrived.”  A great start does not guarantee a strong finish.  We cannot get overconfident about our relationship with God.  No matter where you are in your relationship with God, there is room for growth.  We will never learn everything there is to learn about God in this lifetime.  We will never get to know God as intimately as possible in this lifetime.  It is very dangerous to think we have arrived in our walk with God, and that there is no more that needs to be done. 

Nutshell – We need to overcome the apathy that comes from thinking we have “arrived.”  A great start does not guarantee a strong finish.

The Rat Race

Oct16

According to my 2006 Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary and Thesaurus, “rat race” is defined as “strenuous, tiresome, and competitive activity or rush”. Well, now, does that sound like Black Friday shopping or what? I chuckle as I write that, but it’s true. Recently I found myself going through a rat race, though I had no idea I even entered this race. How is that possible? It all started in the middle of August this year when my book, Love Waits: Book One was republished. I started to promote it on social media and follow people in hopes of “getting the word out” about the book – perhaps someone would buy it, right? Since I self-published through Covenant Books, I didn’t have a marketing team assigned to promote the book, I also didn’t have ad campaigns – just me and social media. I had taken about 3+ years off of social media until 2024 – so basically, I had zero social media presence as well. In hindsight, I see now that I could have/should have been promoting the book from the moment I signed the contract – that idea just never even occurred to me, to be honest. Since it has been 10 years since I first published Love Waits, it was basically like starting all over again at ground zero with a brand-new book.

If you read my blog, Let Your Light Shine, then you know that the first time I was published, I did every single thing that the publishing company told me to do to become a “successful author”. Needless to say, no, I don’t believe that I was a successful author – at least not by the standards that most people would consider “success”. (i.e. books on bestselling lists, awards, thousands of 5-star reviews, and let’s not forget the handsome royalty checks, right?)

When I started promoting my book in August, at first things were good and I was getting a lot of traction with it, especially on Instagram. However, then things started to slow down and I couldn’t figure out why; I wasn’t doing anything differently, so what happened? Before I knew it, I was big time overthinking this “book promotion situation”, which led to stress and an old familiar, yet uncomfortable feeling inside of me that I hadn’t experienced in over 8 years. I paused everything and went to God in prayer. In Scripture, God is known in many different ways, such as gardener (Genesis 2:8), healer (Exodus 15:26), judge, lawgiver, king (all at Isaiah 33:22) – so, why not as marketing manager? Do I have a Scripture reference for that? No. Do I need one? No, at least I don’t think so. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, I think if He wants to, He can promote anything or anyone as He sees fit. So, I gave it all over to God and started posting as He directed.

By the world’s standards, I wasn’t succeeding, because I didn’t post enough posts, or the posts weren’t reaching enough people, or some other nonsense that was not part of the equation with God. Once I started to follow what I believe was God’s leading for posting on social media, I just felt His peace. Later though, when I let the “worries of the world” (Mark 4:18-19) distract me, God had to remind me that He wasn’t asking for me to meet a quota for likes, shares, or comments with every post. God reminded me that He didn’t ask me to sell “X” number of books – I didn’t have a quota to fill there either. He reminded me that I am called to be obedient to Him. I post what I feel He is directing me to post and I even try to write what I feel He is directing me to write (just like now and in my books). Obedience to the Heavenly Father, that IS success! I didn’t need to add to it, nor was I supposed to cherry pick and do only what I wanted to do, what I felt comfortable with doing, or what was easy or convenient to do. I was just called to do His will and I want to answer that call every, single time.

As I have been writing this blog, it occurred to me that I was fixated on the wrong race. The rat race is the wrong race, the race that God has set before me, that is the race I should be focused on. Today I leave you with Galatians 5:16-17, which says, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.” (Bold print and italics are mine for emphasis.)

The Race That Is Set Before Us

Sep3

The past three days had been quite challenging for me. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but I knew something was bothering me and I just couldn’t seem to get out of this “funk” I was in. It got worse and worse over the course of those three days – so bad that even I didn’t want to be around myself. I used to have this struggle off and on since coming to Christ, but I actually hadn’t experienced this in quite a long time. I thought I had remembered what the struggle was like, but until the past three days, I had somehow forgotten or just thought I knew. You know the saying, “the good, the bad, and the ugly”? Yea, the past three days got to a capital U-G-L-Y! I prayed, I read the Bible, I listened to ministering music, I talked things over with my husband (my best friend) – nothing was “working”. During these three days one thing that God had said to me was, “Manage your expectations.” When that was said, I took it in stride and was like “ok, done”. Oh dear, did I fool myself! At the end of the three days (yesterday evening) I finally had a breakthrough and realized that I was allowing things to affect my identity. I was leaving a door open to the enemy and the snake that he is slithered on in. (By the way, I HATE snakes!) I allowed my identity in the Father to be messed with. What was I thinking? Such foolishness and I know better, yet, it happened, and I allowed it to happen.

This past Thursday (pre-U-G-L-Y) I wrote and posted a blog that got a lot of traction on this website and on Instagram. I was shocked by how much attention it got. I am not the type of author who wins awards or is a best-selling anything. Nor do I write so eloquently that my words are quoted on social media or in movies. I am me; I am really only trying to please One, and that is the Heavenly Father whom I serve. I’ve never been in the spotlight, nor have I ever sought it out (plus I have astigmatism, the lights bother my eyes). If I were on a movie set, I would be the person that wouldn’t really be noticed; the person that didn’t even get her name in the credits – or maybe they did get my name in the credits but it would be misspelled, Sherman Sponge, lol, or something like that. But you know what? I’d be fine with that, because it’s really not about me.

The past ten years since the first release of “Love Waits”, I’ve had a lot of time to think, process, understand, and grow closer to God. So, when the blog got so much attention last week, I was taken aback. I believe – even though I’d rather not admit it, especially publicly – but I believe I allowed some stuff to go to my head. I truly didn’t mean to, I really don’t want to be that way (my husband wasn’t too fond of it either). Perhaps when a person doesn’t usually get attention, that when it happens (even on a small scale like mine was), that it can easily go to a person’s head. I have repented of this, I knew it was wrong, but until the Father pointed out to me exactly what was going on, I honestly couldn’t see it. (Should have been as obvious as a train wreck, right?) Like I’ve said for many years now: even if one is called to teach, we should all be students at all times and ready to learn.

If I’m being honest, I kind of didn’t want to write this blog, I mean really, would you want to share a U-G-L-Y moment you recently went through? But I knew that this was what God wanted and I knew I was going to do what He was telling me to do.

We moved to where we currently live just over 2 ½ years ago and the other day I finally got some wall décor put up. I unpacked the picture that I took for this blog because it really can sum up what we all need to do in our own walk with God. I hope that it can be an encouragement for you. Here is a “wider” scope of the Bible reference in the picture:

Hebrews 12:1-3 “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” NASB