The past three days had been quite challenging for me. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but I knew something was bothering me and I just couldn’t seem to get out of this “funk” I was in. It got worse and worse over the course of those three days – so bad that even I didn’t want to be around myself. I used to have this struggle off and on since coming to Christ, but I actually hadn’t experienced this in quite a long time. I thought I had remembered what the struggle was like, but until the past three days, I had somehow forgotten or just thought I knew. You know the saying, “the good, the bad, and the ugly”? Yea, the past three days got to a capital U-G-L-Y! I prayed, I read the Bible, I listened to ministering music, I talked things over with my husband (my best friend) – nothing was “working”. During these three days one thing that God had said to me was, “Manage your expectations.” When that was said, I took it in stride and was like “ok, done”. Oh dear, did I fool myself! At the end of the three days (yesterday evening) I finally had a breakthrough and realized that I was allowing things to affect my identity. I was leaving a door open to the enemy and the snake that he is slithered on in. (By the way, I HATE snakes!) I allowed my identity in the Father to be messed with. What was I thinking? Such foolishness and I know better, yet, it happened, and I allowed it to happen.

This past Thursday (pre-U-G-L-Y) I wrote and posted a blog that got a lot of traction on this website and on Instagram. I was shocked by how much attention it got. I am not the type of author who wins awards or is a best-selling anything. Nor do I write so eloquently that my words are quoted on social media or in movies. I am me; I am really only trying to please One, and that is the Heavenly Father whom I serve. I’ve never been in the spotlight, nor have I ever sought it out (plus I have astigmatism, the lights bother my eyes). If I were on a movie set, I would be the person that wouldn’t really be noticed; the person that didn’t even get her name in the credits – or maybe they did get my name in the credits but it would be misspelled, Sherman Sponge, lol, or something like that. But you know what? I’d be fine with that, because it’s really not about me.

The past ten years since the first release of “Love Waits”, I’ve had a lot of time to think, process, understand, and grow closer to God. So, when the blog got so much attention last week, I was taken aback. I believe – even though I’d rather not admit it, especially publicly – but I believe I allowed some stuff to go to my head. I truly didn’t mean to, I really don’t want to be that way (my husband wasn’t too fond of it either). Perhaps when a person doesn’t usually get attention, that when it happens (even on a small scale like mine was), that it can easily go to a person’s head. I have repented of this, I knew it was wrong, but until the Father pointed out to me exactly what was going on, I honestly couldn’t see it. (Should have been as obvious as a train wreck, right?) Like I’ve said for many years now: even if one is called to teach, we should all be students at all times and ready to learn.

If I’m being honest, I kind of didn’t want to write this blog, I mean really, would you want to share a U-G-L-Y moment you recently went through? But I knew that this was what God wanted and I knew I was going to do what He was telling me to do.

We moved to where we currently live just over 2 ½ years ago and the other day I finally got some wall décor put up. I unpacked the picture that I took for this blog because it really can sum up what we all need to do in our own walk with God. I hope that it can be an encouragement for you. Here is a “wider” scope of the Bible reference in the picture:

Hebrews 12:1-3 “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” NASB